A brief essay for wife for our ninth anniversary
The story of Jayson & Robin as told by Jayson
You know When Harry Met Sally, Jack and Dianne now the story (quick) of Jayson and Robin.
While ending a thirteen year marriage (Lucky 13) I Reacquainted with a friend from college, platonic and safe was why I accepted the casual invite for coffee. We spoke open and free about our lives for the seventeen yeas that had passed. We both grieved the lose of a sibling. My journey in recovery didn’t scare her off and allowed some built in walls to come down quickly. Our conversation became laser like in hopes, dreams and expectations. Now looking back I think both would noticed the proceed with caution sign that we blew past. I recall my brother Jim offering some big brother advice about slowing down and my reply was: if you go play lotto after praying for a winning ticket, do you throw it away and buy losers hoping to win again? Note: after meeting and speaking with Robin Jim gave his thumbs up👍🏽. Weather was Blue Sky & Pink Clouds. Then life squared up and kicked this Eskimo in my ice hole and suddenly we went into defensive mode (firemen understand defensive mode) some of you say you have a ride of die, Robin has shown through her support of my children, tolerance to the luggage I came with and longevity we celebrate today 9/25/03- relationship 10/1/04- two became 6 (don’t try and do the math because we add and subtract in this story, but it ain’t over. Not as long as I draw breath and love remain the foundation, but I digressed…where was I?) Marriage was always the end game, but I told Robin when felt comfortable and whatever she wants. 2012 came in throwing ‘bows when I received a diagnosis for cancer (Prostate) in January, I was all of 48 w/ four kids and legally a “domestic partner” sounds so romantic … had aggressive robotic surgery at City of Hope on April 10, 2012 and cancer free ever since. #blessingsonblessings the series of events at the start of 2012 also made me reevaluate that ride or die thing. Robin was kind, attentive and caring, but that’s who Tobin is as a person. I go back (way back) to the platonic friend, to when I first met Robin at in my description I said: Robin’s kindness reminds me of my sister Jennifer.. you can’t get much higher praise then that from me. December 31, 2012 Robin formally became my wife. She had been friend (x) room mate (x) lover (x) partner (x), but now and until the wheels fall off “wife and/or Ride or die” (x) Don’t get it twisted we are a normal married couple complete with peaks and valleys, highs and lows, but no matter what we circle back to that first coffee in 2003 and hold on to “Promise we will always be friends…as friends I will stand with you, beside you, got your back or when needed be first thing they see coming through the door.
Robin makes me want to be better. Not better just to say it, but truly push harder, climb higher and be the man I think I am or at told Robin I was. I also that Robin works on herself. We really try hard not to have verbally abusive and damaging disagreements. The few times that we tested our commitment, we both accept that there is room for improvement.
The last two Covid-19 riddled years has seen major changes with me physically. Waiting for both knees to be replaced and a family history that has my doctor looking puzzled each time I make it back her office has reinforced for Robin’s diligence and care. Ain’t nothing like waking up post op and counting on one hand (minus a few digits) who carrying the home team.
Happy anniversary to my MVP (Most Valuable Pretty….she is an AKA…lol)
9 years…plus 9 before we got officially married to a total of 18. 9 and 9, we are right in the middle and where I’m from….”life’s Sweet
spot.” With my sweetie…my friend.